Alive
by MisunderstoodMind
Summary: Tom & Sasha realizing what really matters in a post plague world. - Missing Scene from 3.05 Minefield - TomSha Smut ;) -M-rated for the obvious reasons


**Yes, I'm back from my writing break! So while I was studying I had this thought what would've happened if Tom would've stopped Sasha from leaving after she had kissed him Ep 5. I know this one-shot is something that would never happen, but it was a fun idea and I needed something to keep me happy while studying...**

 **Warning: It's M-rated for the obvious reasons ;)**

 **Thanks V for beta-ing!**

 **Feedback as always is highly appreciated!**

"I really didn't want to lose you today." Sasha's voice was soft, barely above a whisper and filled with emotions that she knew she shouldn't show, especially not under the circumstances. She was trained to stay professional, to not let her emotions over rule her better judgment no matter what matter what, but after what had happened today in the minefield it seemed impossible for her to remain professional and unemotional. Knowing how fragile their lives had become in this post plague world, Sasha knew that she had to take her chance whenever it would present itself and tell him how she felt, especially after today.

 _Alive,_ Sasha thought as she noticed his calm and steady heartbeat under the palm of her right hand. Breaking their gaze Sasha allowed her eyes to travel over his face down to his chest as she noticed that her hand was still lingering right above his heart.

 _He's still alive,_ a soft smile appeared on her lips as she allowed herself to enjoy The feeling of his heartbeat inside his chest, confirmation of his vitality. For a moment Sasha allowed herself to wander down memory lane, recalling how it felt to fall asleep in his arms, listening to the soothing sound of his heartbeat.

Realizing that she couldn't allow herself to get lost in those precious memories of their shared past, she quickly turned away and head for the door whilst she kept her hand connected to his chest until she had no other choice but to pull it away.

The moment her hand slipped off his chest, Sasha tried valiantly to ignore the incessant need to confess her feelings for him. Her mind tried desperately to remind her heart that this was neither the right time, nor the right place for such a confession – her heart was having none of it. _After the mission when we are back in the States,_ Sasha reminded herself taking a deep breath as grabbed the door handle, but then she felt Tom grabbing her wrist.

Grabbing her little harder than he had intended to, Tom spun her around, forcing her to face him again as he pulled her back towards him. Wrapping his arms around her waist he noticed her confused expression as he drew in a little closer and then without giving her a chance to react, he pressed his lips against hers. A surprised gasp escaped her lips as she parted them, giving him the permission to go further and slide his tongue, melding her body with his as she leaned in closer. Allowing herself to enjoy their intimate connection, Sasha closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, tracing her fingers over his neck and up to the back of his head, caressing him softly whilst she carefully traced her fingertips through his short, cropped hair.

The softness of her lips, the way her tongue seductively danced with his and the incredible feeling of her body leaning into his, it all felt so familiar, so good, as if nothing had changed since they'd parted, Tom too was well aware that it was neither the time nor the place to kiss Sasha, to seduce her, his mind wasted little time in remonstrating with him, at least not on the ship. But he couldn't stop, even if he wanted to, it seemed impossible for him to pull away. Tom had no idea what it was with Sasha that made him forget the rules, but the moment their lips had connected he felt like he was chasing a high hat had him feeling joy instead of the pain of his many losses, and the increasingly heavy burdens of his command.

He felt alive, thanks to the beautiful dark haired woman That has come back into his life at a time where he had already lost so much that he had almost given up hope of finding love or happiness in this new world. But now, there she was, in his arms, the woman that he had lost his heart to over a decade ago, the woman who had broken his heart without breaking a sweat. Sasha was the most stubborn woman he had ever met and the woman who somehow managed to survive the plague in China Only to reappear in his life when he needed her most.

Tom was aware that whatever would happen between them tonight would be against the regulations, but he knew Sasha. He knew that no matter what would happen between them, they both would still be able to remain professional in public. Tom knew this as they'd had to employ the same discretion back in the day, when she had been one of his students at the Naval Academy.

 _I really did not want to lose you today,_ Sasha's words echoed through his head and suddenly Tom realized that he felt the saw way about her. He didn't want to lose her again, not today, not tomorrow and certainly not in the future, not after everything they both had been through.

 _Everyone lost someone in the fire,_ he recalled what she had said about losing her husband and for a moment he wondered who else she had lost during the plague. Tom wanted to ask her about her parents or her annoying overprotective brother, but still he didn't want to ruin their moment.

He'd put her on that helo, so that if needs be, she at least could escape to Okinawa, and convince the President to send another rescue party for the James's missing crew. Tom knew beyond certainty he'd give his life for hers if needs be.

 _Alive,_ Tom smiled against her lips as he realized that staying alive was all that mattered in a world so fragile that one wrong move or decision could end it all forever.

Sasha felt his hands tracing over her waist to the front of her pants where he untucked her white shirt, causing her tremble slightly as his knuckles accidently brushed over her stomach whilst he quickly unbuckled her belt. The moment she heard the clinking of her belt buckle, Sasha's common sense tried to kick in as she realized where this was heading if she didn't put a stop to it. She knew Tom, knew his sense of honor wouldn't allow him to break the frat rules, at least not aboard ship, despite his tendency lately to break whatever rules stood in his way. Struggling for her self-control, Sasha wanted to stop, but somehow she couldn't bring herself to pull away from his dangerously talented and soft lips. Releasing the grip she had on the back of his neck Sasha traced her hands over his skin to his cheeks where she cupped his handsome face with both of her hands and then she caught herself doing the exact opposite of what she was supposed to do as she leaned in and deepened their kiss. Her tongue stroke over his again and she realized that somehow she was still powerless against the man that she had lost her heart to years ago. So instead of pulling away Sasha kept their lips connected as she dropped her hands and reached between their bodies grabbing his hands just in time when he was about to unbutton her pants.

Shocked by her firm grip Tom immediately pulled away from her a surprised look on his face as his gaze dropped to their hands before he looked up at her. For a moment they were both breathing heavily and neither of them dared to say a word as they simply stared into each other's eyes as if they were trying to read each other's minds. They were both aware that this might be the last chance for them to stop, but still neither of them dared to step away from the other.

"Are you sure?" Sasha swallowed hart before she finally dared to ask the question that had been bothering her for a few minutes.

"Sasha…" Tom breathed his voice barely above a whisper as Sasha released the grip she had on his hands, allowing him to reach up and cup her face with both of his hands.

"Tom…" Sasha couldn't help but purr his name as she tried not to close her eyes when she felt his thumb gently caressing her face.

"I need you" This time his voice was intimately low, causing her to shiver slightly whilst she closed her eyes in order to savor the delicious feeling his voice was giving her. A soft smile hushed over her lips as she finally allowed herself to enjoy his gentle touch whilst she leaned into the palm of his hand.

Noticing her peaceful smile Tom slowly leaned in and brushed his lips over hers, kissing her tenderly. It was that feeling of his lips brushing tenderly over hers that told her that he was sure about this. Deeping their kiss, Sasha's hands quickly found the first set of buttons of his uniform while his hands slipped back to the front of her pants where he quickly finished what he had started before. Opening the zipper Tom brushed his fingers over her white panties, causing her to groan into his mouth.

The second she had opened the last button of his uniform Sasha firmly grabbed the collar of his shirt pulling him against her while she leaned in and deepened their kiss before she reached up and pushed the shirt down his shoulders. Tracing her fingertips over the sensitive skin of his arms and further down Sasha forced him to remove his hands from her waist as she took off his shirt.

Once the piece of clothes was gone Tom's hand quickly found their way back to her waist shoving her shirt up as he traced his fingertips lazily up her ribs as he began undoing her bra. It was then when Sasha's common sense reared its head again, but this time it wasn't about the Navy regulations.

"Door" she muttered against his lips the moment she his hands tracing over her bra before he cupped her breasts, causing her to moan against his lips, but then to her surprise stopped and dropped his hands down to her hips again. Forcing herself to open her eyes Sasha found herself staring into his and for a split second she could've sworn that she saw a hint of doubt in his bright blue orbs and she could tell that by the way he looked at her that a small part of him was still debating if sleeping with her would be right or wrong.

"Hey, don't worry" Sasha's soft voice brought him back to reality as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I want this too. I want _you"_ Sasha added genuinely before she leaned in and placed a soft kiss onto his lips as she caressed the nap of his neck.

"It's just there are _some things_ the crew _doesn't_ need to see." She explained with an innocent smile on her lips.

Watching him taking a deep breath Sasha was pretty sure that he had already made up his mind and that he would probably push her away and would start to lecture about why this was wrong, why they couldn't allow themselves to follow their feelings, but then he took her by surprise as he captured her lips, kissing her tenderly while he wrapped his arms around her waist. Pulling her closer as tighten his grip he deepened their kiss before he pushed himself up from the desk he was still leaning on. Tightening her own grip around his neck Sasha expected him to walk her backwards towards the door, but to her surprise he pulled away. Holding her gaze for a few seconds Tom scanned her eyes as if he was trying to find any hint of doubt there, but the only thing he saw in her was her desire to be with him. It was enough for him to release the grip he had around her waist as he quickly stepped around her and went over to the door.

The moment he had turned his back towards Sasha quickly tugged off her shirt, dropping it onto the floor while she turned around and watched him locking the door.

"What the… Sasha" Tom gasped surprised by the view right in front of him and for moment he couldn't help but stare at her beautiful and breathtaking body. His eyes roamed over her silky pale skin, the soft trail of freckles down her shoulders, the way her bra cupping her perfectly shaped breasts.

 _Like nothing had changed,_ Tom took a deep breath as he realized that sleeping with Sasha would mean so much more to him than just releasing his suppressed feelings. Feelings that he knew he couldn't allow himself to feel. It would mean reconnecting with her as friends, lovers, equals in the most intimated way. He realized that he would be able to rediscover her body and her skin, to taste her, to make her do all those tiny noises that he used to love so much back when they were still a couple.

"Come here" Tom murmured as he stepped closer and reached out, lightly brushing his fingers over her arm before he pulled her closer. Wrapping his arms around her slender figure his lips found hers and he kissed her hard whilst his hands traced over her back, rediscovering her silky skin

 _Rediscovering,_ Tom told himself as he recognized that even though she had aged her skin still felt the same way it did when he had first touched her over a decade ago. Leaving her mouth he traced his lips over her jawline up to her ear as he kissed and nibbled his way to the spot behind her ear whilst he reached for the for the claps of her bra. Wanting to feel her more, to rediscover more of her with no boundaries between them he flicked his tongue over her sensitive spot, knowing that it would drive her mad with lust for him.

"Tom" Sasha moaned softly, feeling his hot breath as he smiled against her sensitive skin as he quickly undid the claps of her bra. Slipping the straps of her bra down her shoulders Tom stepped back and allowed her to remove her bra as he watched her revealing her perfect breasts.

"Perfect..." Tom breathed when he pulled her back into his arms kissing her hungrily whilst he started to walk her backwards towards the small bedroom of his cabin. Not wanting to let go of him or his lips Sasha instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck again grabbing the hem of his Navy blues when she suddenly felt his hand brushing over her breast.

"Tom… fuck…" Sasha gasped at the sensation as she felt his thumb tracing over her hardening nipple, sending a jolt of desire straight down to her core. She wanted to feel him and she was craving for his touch, but still she didn't want to lose her self-control. She knew this would be over too soon, and both would have to focus on their mission again, pretending like nothing had happened. Leaning up Sasha deepened their kiss, taking him by surprise as she used her new found leverage to spin him around walking him through the door of the bedroom, before she carefully guided him towards the bed. The second she heard the back of his legs hitting the frame of his bed Sasha pulled away, a sexy smirk on her lips as she placed her hands onto his shoulder and pushed him down onto the bed.

Crawling up into his lap she straddled him with her long legs as she wrapped her around his neck, pausing for a moment to simply hold his gaze. It was then when she noticed that the doubts that she had seen early had disappeared and were replaced by the desire and passion that she knew was still burning inside of him.

Unable to hold her gaze for another second Tom dug his hands into her beautiful straight mahogany colored hair as he pulled her in for another heated kiss. Untangling his hands again he slipped one down to her back where he held her in place whilst he used his other hand to sneak it between their bodies. Palming the soft skin of her breast and feeling the contrast of her hardening nipple as she arched into his touch Sasha gasped into his mouth whilst she dug her fingernails into his back, cursing silently as she realized that he was still almost completely dressed.

"Still too much clothes…" she breathed while she ran her fingernails over his back to the hem of his shirt. "…need more skin…" she muttered against his lips as she quickly pulled his shirt up forcing him to let go of her as she wrenched it over his head. "Better" Sasha smiled at him once it was gone and then she pushed him onto his back before she followed him. Feeling her hard nipples tracing over his bare chest as she kissed him fierily Tom slipped his hands down to the low of her back where he slipped it into her pants grabbing her ass. Sasha knew what he was trying to do with her so she left his lips and started to place feathered kisses onto his jaw and down his throat where she started to nibble and suck her way down as she slid off his body.

"Sash…" Tom growled in disapproval of her actions as his hand slid out of her pants again, leaving him with no real leverage as she teased him with her tongue and lips. "Always got to do things your own way" He panted as he felt her tongue leaving his left nipple.

"Sasha knows best" Sasha replied as she looked up from his chest, a devilish smirk on her lips before she lowered her head again and then she captured his nipple with her lips. Drawing a long moan from his lips as sucked it into her mouth and then she flicked her tongue over it before she moved over to his right chest where she gave him the same sweet torture whilst her finger placed with other one. Panting heavily Tom closed his eyes as he tried to stay calm and not take over control just yet, because just like Sasha he knew that their moment of privacy wouldn't last forever and that all too soon it would be back to business.

 _Rediscovering,_ Sasha thought whilst her hands and lips when onto a journey over his strong muscular torso loving and cherishing every inch of his well-defined body as she reacquainted herself with her lover's body.

Her fingernails had just traced over his ribs and caused him to shiver slightly when she suddenly felt a small bump in his skin just below his ribs. It wasn't big, but it was enough for her to stop and pull away before she sat up next to him. Opening his eyes he found her staring at the scar that would forever remember him of the moment on the oil rig where he had lost four sailors and almost lost his own life.

"Sasha?" Tom took a deep breath and for a split second he feared that his scar may had changed her mind. Lifting her head Sasha turned her head to look at him and he saw the concerned expression on her face. Even though she wanted to say something, to ask him what had happened and how it happened Sasha couldn't bring herself to speak up so she simply looked at him with a questioning expression on her face.

"Close call" Tom breathed, hoping that it would answer her question for now. They could talk about this later when there was more time and he would be able to tell her the whole story about his scars, both physical and mental. He wanted to open up to her, but not now, because he was sure that it would probably ruin their moment. Watching her taking a deep breath as she shifted her focus back to his scar, Tom couldn't tell what she was going to do and for a moment he thought that she would get up and leave, but then he felt her fingertips on his skin. Carefully Sasha traced her fingertips over his skin, barely touching it as she didn't dare to leave the scar out of her sight.

 _I really did not want to lose you today,_ Sasha heard her own words echoing through her head as she realized how close he must have been to death. With her medical training she knew exactly which organ was behind that scar and hell, she still wanted to know what had happened to him, but then she decided to let it go and not let this little scar ruin their moment. Keeping her eyes focused on to the tiny bump in skin she watched him wincing slightly as she brushed her index finger over it, feeling the bump again before she continued to caress the skin around his scar as she wonder what had happened to him

"It's okay" Tom's voice brought her back to reality as he sat up next to her. "I'm still here" he added whilst he placed his index finger under her chin before he carefully lifted her head up so she would look at him. "I'm still here" His voice was barely above a whisper whilst Sasha's eyes started to scan his before she finally realized again that he was right He was still here, sitting right next her, alive.

"Alive" Sasha whispered her voice as she couldn't help but let her emotions taking over her voice.

"Alive" Tom nodded, a soft smile on his lips as he held her gaze for a few seconds before he leaned in and kissed her tenderly, hoping that she would be able to ignore the scar.

Feeling his lips softly brushing over hers Sasha withdrew her hand from his scar and placed it onto his cheek and then she parted his lips, allowing him to take it further again as he slid his tongue in. Using his left hand Tom reached up and cupped her breast causing her moan into his mouth as he ran his fingers over her already turgid nipple. Deeping their kiss as she leaned up Sasha was about to crawl back onto his lap, but then she felt his hands tracing from her breast to her neck while his other hand stroked her tenderly down to the low of her back as he pulled her closer before he gently lowered her onto the mattress. Not wanting to leave his lips just yet, Sasha instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down with her, forcing him to crawl between her legs as she seductively ran her fingernails over his back and down to the waistband of his pants. Not letting the piece of cloth stopping her Sasha quickly slid her hand into his pants where she grabbed his ass hard, causing him to groan against her lips as he tried to pull away from hers. Not wanting him to stop their kisses just yet when he pulled away, Sasha leaned up and tried to catch his lips again but Tom pushed her back onto the pillow as he left a wet trail on her already over heating skin as he kissed and nibbled his way down her jawline to her neck.

"Tom" Sasha moaned whilst her hands roamed over his back, feeling his muscles twitching under her touch as his lips traveled lower and lower until he had reached her breasts. Teasing her with his tongue he licked over the soft skin of her left breast, inching closer and closer where he started to circle it with the tip of his tongue before he finally sucked it into his mouth. A low groan escaped her lips as her hands found their way back into his hair, grabbing it tightly while he ran his teeth over her nipple.

"Fuck" Sasha breathed as she fought to keep her voice down even though Tom was already making it damn hard for her to keep it down, but Sasha knew that she had to stay quiet as a mouse or else the whole ship would know what they were doing.

Closing her eyes Sasha released the grip she had on his hair allowing him to move over to her right breast. Leaving her left breast Tom looked up at her and he noticed the blissful smile on her lips as she dug her nails in to the pillow behind her. He could tell that she struggling not only to keep quiet, but her tenuous hold on her self-control. A confident grin appeared on his lips as he lowered his head again before he started to tease her with tongue and lips again.

"Perfect" Tom murmured against her erected nipple, when he figured that his job there was done. "You're perfect, Sasha" He told her his voice intimately low while nibbled his way up to her neck again, letting her feel his hot breath against the sensitive skin on her throat before he leaned up and captured her lips again. Wanting to feel more of his skin, more of him Sasha wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him hard against her body, enjoying the feeling of his bare chest against hers. Whimpering into his mouth when she suddenly felt the impressive bulge in his pants brushing over her folds she realized again that there was still too much clothes, too many boundaries between them. Releasing the grip she had around his shoulders Sasha traced her fingers down to the low of back before she dropped then onto his sides, slightly pushing him up as she reached between their overheated bodies. Innocently Sasha ran her fingernails over his lower abdomen as she inched closer and closer towards the waistband of his pants. She almost reached it when Tom suddenly decided to leave her lips again and kissed and nibbled his way down to her neck again. A frustrated groan escaped her lips when she felt him sliding down her body, forcing her to withdraw her hands from his pants as he gently nipped and kissed her sensitive skin. Leaving a wet trail from her collarbone down to her breasts Tom stopped and placed a tender kiss onto each nipple before he continued his journey down her body, rediscovering her delicate skin.

Sasha was so focused on the feeling of his lips against her skin that she didn't notice that Tom had slid one hand between their bodies.

"Tom" Sasha gasped surprised when she suddenly felt his hands brushing over her inner thighs, causing her to spread her legs further apart as he slid his hand up towards her hot center. Brushing his hand lightly over her center Tom drew another gasp from her lips as he continued to kiss and nibble the sensitive skin on her lower abdomen. A devilish smirk formed on his lips when he felt her pushing her hips down towards his hand as desperately tried to get him to touch her more, but much to her dismay Tom kept his touch lightly before he withdrew his hand completely as he leaned up for another overheated and passionate kiss.

Knowing that he had left her longing for more as he kissed Tom sneaked his hand between their bodies again brushing his fingertips over her lower abdomen before he reached the waistband of her pants and panties. Grateful that he had already undone the button on the zipper before, he smiled against her lips as he slowly slid his hand into her panties. Groaning into her mouth as he felt the heat of her skin between her legs he inched closer and closer to her wet center.

"Sash…" Tom moaned as he brushed his finger over swollen folds, before he parted them and slid a finger in. Feeling how wet and ready she already was for him, it was almost too much him. "Fuck TOM!" Sasha gasped when she suddenly felt his finger brushing over her clit and then she pushed herself up, causing him to withdraw his hand from her panties as she sat up.

"Pants off, Sailor! Now!" she ordered whilst she bend down to take off her boots.

"No" Tom replied as he watched her kicking off her boots quickly before she reached for her pants where she stopped.

"No?" Sasha asked in disbelief as she raised her perfectly shaped eyebrow at him. _Is he fucking serious?_

"As long as you're on _my_ ship, you take orders from _me_ , remember?" He asked her when their gaze met and she stared at him with such intensity that Tom almost believed that she would kill him. At the same time Sasha couldn't tell if he was serious or if this was just another way to proof her that they were still the same as she suddenly remembered how it used to between them over a decade ago. Back then sex between them had always been hot, a passionate fight for control, a constant challenge to proof that despite their age difference that they were equals. And then she remembered how Tom always seemed enjoy a good power struggle with her.

"Oh, really?" Sasha asked her voice seductively low whilst she placed her hand onto his knee, caressing it softly.

"You know… we can do this your way or mine or…" She trailed off innocently as she ran her hand up his thigh while Tom already expected her to grab him, but to his surprise she stopped her hand. "I can get up, get dressed again and leave so you can take your cold shower in private."

Holding his gaze Sasha's hand still lingered on his thigh and by the way she looked at him Tom knew that she was trying to challenge him, to make him give in to her demands. But even though all he wanted was to get rid of his painful tight pants and finally feel her as close as possible, Tom still didn't want to give in to her demands just yet.

"Your choice, _Captain_ …" Sasha seductively licked her lips. "Chandler" she purred his name, knowing that it would distract him enough so she could make her final move as she ran her hand up his thigh and grabbed the bulge in his pants. Surprised by her sudden hard touch Tom was unable to hold back a loud groan that Sasha quickly silence with her lips, kissing him hard while she started to stroke his length through his pants.

"Pants" Tom breathed against her lips before he pushed her away, forcing her to release his now painfully erected cock. Knowing that she had won their little power struggle Sasha had confident grin on her lips as she watched him slipping off his booths before he worked on the buttons and zipper of his pants. Not leaving her out his sight he watched her getting off the bed and stripping off her pants and panties in one swift move before he did the same. One his last piece of clothes was finally gone their gaze met and they saw the passion, the desire and the love they both knew had never really left them. For a moment the time stood still as they realized that this would be the moment where they would finally reconnect in a way neither of them had expected after they had broken up years ago.

Reaching up with one hand Sasha cupped his cheek as she leaned up and kissed him tenderly while she placed her other hand onto his right chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat under the palm of her hand as she pushed him back onto the bed.

A low moan escaped her lips when she felt his hand traveling down her sides to her hips where he held her in place. "So perfect" Tom murmured against her sensitive skin as he leaned in and placed a few feathered kisses around her naval, causing her to tremble as she felt his hot breath against her skin as his lips moved lower and lower towards her hot center.

She already feel his breath tingling her folds when she suddenly realized where this would end if she wouldn't stop him. So even though she would love to make this the way he wanted to she still remembered that they were on an active ship with over 200 sailors around them. A shaking breath escaped her lips as dug her hands into his hair before she pulled him away. "Not like this" Her she whispered as she bended down for another searing kiss and then she climbed onto his lap. Straddling him with her legs Sasha pressed herself against his chest feeling his erection brushing over her lower abdomen as Tom groaned into her mouth. Wrapping his arms around her waist Tom's hands quickly made their way down to her ass, grabbing firmly as he tried to pull her closer, but then Sasha pushed herself away, just enough to sneak one of her hands between their overheated bodies. Grabbing him just as firmly as he did with her ass, she used the hand on his shoulders to push herself up against him before as she positioned herself above him, ready to sink down onto him. Her mind was already clouded with her arousal and all she wanted was to finally feel him sliding into her but then she felt Tom's hand on her hips, stopping her. "Don't have… condoms" he muttered against her lips, his voice husky as she saw a hint of disappointment in his darkened eyes.

"Implant…" Sasha breathed as she kissed him again. "…hasn't expired yet" she added when her lips left his, leaving a wet trail on his cheek as she traced them over to his ear.

"We just have to keep it quiet, okay?" Sasha breathed into his ear before she ran her tongue over his earlobe. "Sash" Tom warned her, but she ignored him as she sucked it into her mouth, drawing another low groan from his lips. "Okay?" She asked once she had released it again before she leaned back to look into his eyes. "Okay" Tom nodded hoping that Sasha would stick to her own request, because he knew how vocal she could get, especially when they were doing something forbidden. Usually wouldn't mind about it because for him it was huge turn on, but being on a ship with over 200 sailors who report to him, who could possible hear them wasn't something he wanted to happen.

They were both determined to hold their gaze as Sasha positioned him between her folds and then she slowly sunk down onto him, feeling him slipping into her wet and hot channel. Sasha stopped for a moment allowing herself to get used to his size again as it was almost too much for her to handle. Tom watched her eyes flutter for a moment as she started to move slowly. Letting her set their pace Tom found himself in a battle against his impulse to drive up into her. It was that feeling of being so close to her and feeling her sinking down onto him again and again, so wet and hot around him without any barriers that it made him almost forget where they were. "God Sasha…" Tom groaned as it all felt so good, so familiar that he wanted more of her, he wanted to hear her moaning his name, to ear her whimper against his skin, to taste her, to feel her clenching around him when she came for him.

"Fuck Tom!" Sasha whimpered when she suddenly felt him driving up into her, meeting her with every deep thrust she made as his hands found her hips, guiding her as they both created a rapid hard rhythm. Feeling herself getting closer and closer to her release Sasha leaned forward, burying her face into his shoulder as she nipped and kissed his neck in order to keep herself quiet. Feeling own release approaching Tom quickly snuck a hand between their bodies where he quickly found her clit and started rub it. Aching into his touch while she thrust down onto him driving them closer to the edge and then she came so hard, that for a moment Sasha felt like she couldn't breathe or think straight as she bit into his shoulder a little harder than she had intended to as she tried to muffle her harsh gasps. It was the feeling of her walls softly fluttering against his cock mixed with the pain he felt from her bit that send him into his own release and then he let go inside of her as buried his face into her neck to stifle his own groans.

For a moment it seemed like they both had forget where they were and how they got there as they both enjoyed the hot waves that ran through their bodies while still being so deeply and intimately connected.

 _Alive,_ Tom smiled against her neck as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in closer, feeling her heart beating against his chest. Even though Sasha knew that soon she had to let go of Tom again she kept her arms around neck as she started to place a few feathered kisses onto the bite mark she had left on his left shoulder.

"Sorry" Sasha murmured against his skin. "Blame the heat of the moment" she added causing Tom to chuckle softly.

"Keep your arms around my neck." He told her, ignoring her apology as he carefully maneuvered them further onto the bed, pulling her down with him as he lowered himself on to his pillow. The moment he Tom was lying on his back Sasha pushed herself up on to her arms and a placed a tender kiss onto his lips before she rolled off his body in to the empty space next to him. Not wanting to leave him out of her sight Sasha laid onto her left side as she propped her head onto her hand as their gaze met again.

"How stupid was that?" Tom asked, looking at her as if he was trying to find any hints of regret in her bright blue eyes.

"Professionally or personally?" Sasha asked back whilst she reached up and brushed her fingertips over his cheek and down to jawline. "Professionally speaking it was pretty stupid but personally…" she trailed off as she pushed herself up from her arm to lean over him. She was still holding his gaze when their lips were only a breath away from each other as her dark long hair brushed over his shoulder. "Not stupid at all. You?"

"Likewise - not stupid at all" Tom replied, copying her words. Sasha smiled tenderly down at him, before kissing him again.

"Come back to the States after the mission" Tom asked her the moment her lips had left his. "What?" Sasha asked a questioning look on her face as she had no idea where this would go. "I mean you can't go back to China and I'm sure the president would like to have you on his team. You would be an incredible asset and we…" Tom stopped when he realized that maybe he was pushing the topic a bit too far too fast. "Maybe we can spent more time together." He shrugged.

"Do you mean more time than we have already spent together here on _your_ ship?" Sasha asked raising her eyes brow at him, but instead of answering Tom simply nodded as he had couldn't tell what Sasha was thinking about his idea, but then he saw a soft smile forming on her lips. "I would love that." She admitted as she leaned down and kissed again before she moved back in to the space next to him.

"But first…" she started while she pulled down his part of the blanket, revealing his scar again. "You have to tell me what happened here" she added whilst she traced her fingertips over the tiny bump below his ribs. "Fine." Tom sighed as he turned his head to look at her again and then he started to tell her everything about the immunes, their secret network, how they've found out about it and how they had ended up on the oil rig with Val.

"According to Rachel I was touch and go for a while and she forced me to go under and remove the shrapnel behind my liver." Tom paused when Sasha couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Stubborn sailor" She muttered while she shook her head at him. "The crew needed me." Tom defended himself, even though he knew that he didn't had to, because he knew that unlike the others Sasha understood where he was coming from.

"They do, but they although need you alive and well. I don't have to tell you that the shrapnel could've killed you?"

"I got it removed after the service for the sailors we lost. It was important for me to be there with the crew" Tom explained his point of view, hoping that Sasha would understand how important it was for him. "You know how I feel about it" Tom stated but for Sasha it sounded more like a question.

"I do. It's just…" Sasha stopped as suddenly felt like she couldn't find the right words. "Look Tom, I get it. They've been under your command and you'd send them into battle field which had killed them." She paused again to take a deep breath as her eyes traveled down to his scar.

"It's just, I don't know" She shrugged. "If something would've happened to you… this would never had happened. You would've only been a memory of my life before the plague and I don't want you to just be a memory." She added genuinely as she turned her head to look at him again. Once their gaze locked neither of them said a word as Tom had no idea how to responds to what she had just told him.

After a few minutes had passed and Tom still hadn't said a word the situation suddenly became almost unbearable for her, so without saying another word Sasha sat up on edge of the bed and reached for her pants and panties.

"What are you doing?" Tom asked not bothering to hide that he was little shocked by her sudden action as she slipped into her pants.

"I'm leaving" She replied quickly as she stood up and pulled her pants up while she tried to figure out a way to make her exit as quick as possible, because she already knew that he would try to change her mind and that he would probably succeed. "You need some space and by the way I still don't want to get caught when I sneak out. Remember? We are still on the ship with 200 of your sailors." Sasha explained, grabbing her boots before she sat down again to put them on, but then she felt his hand on her arm and she stopped as she turned around to look at him.

"Stay" Tom asked his fingertip lightly brushing over her skin, causing her to shiver slightly.

"Tom…" Sasha took a deep breath closing her eyes for few seconds to collect her thoughts before she dared to look at him again. "I can't… we shouldn't spend the night together. It's against the…" She stopped midsentence when their gaze met and she suddenly felt like she was lost for words. She noticed the intensity in his eyes and it almost felt like he was begging her to stay, to cuddle up with him in his bed, to be the warm body that he was secretly craving for to feel when he felt a sleep at night or to wake up in the morning to.

"Tom" Sasha tried again to come with a reason, but still she couldn't as she once again realized how much she still cares for him and that she somehow was still in love with the handsome and stubborn sailor that he still was and will always be.

"Just forget about the rules and regulations for a moment and think about what you want." He asked her not leaving her out of his sight. "You know me, Sasha. I don't do casual, I've never done that and I don't plan on doing it with you. I would like you to stay and maybe when get back to St Louis we can try and take this further…" Still not leaving her gaze Tom sat up and reached up to brush a few strains of her messy mahogany colored hair behind her ear before he cupped her cheek. Instinctively Sasha leaned into the palm of his hand, allowing him to cares her cheekbone with his thumb. "I mean if it is okay with you?" His voice was soft and Sasha could swear that she had heard a hint of insecurity in his voice when he had asked if she was okay with it.

"I would love that." She whispered as she was still holding his gaze.

"So will you stay the night?" Tom asked again after a few moments had passed and neither of them had said a word.

"Tom" Sasha sighed leaving his eyes as she turned her head towards the door while she tried to figure out what she should do. On one hand all she wanted was to stay with for the night, to cuddle up with him and forget about the madness that was currently surrounding them. But on the other side she knew that she couldn't stay with him, not tonight, because she knew that if she would get caught leaving in the morning it would probably ruin Tom's reputation as the CNO.

"What if someone sees me leaving in the morning?"

"Early briefing?" Tom suggested when she brought her attention back to Tom. "We are getting closer to Takehaya's base anyways and you're our expert of the region. We could've discussed a plan to rescue our crew." "Nice, but we don't really know which island of the Paracells he is hiding on and…" Sasha tried to reasoning with him, but she already had a strong feeling that whatever she would say he would still try to convince her to stay. "What will your crew think if they see me leaving in the morning with messy hair and all?"

"Like I said early briefing, but if you are worried about your hair I can borrow you my comb." Tom looked at her, a cheeky grin on his lips.  
"Not funny, Chandler" Sasha glared at him while he reached out and brushed through her hair. "Look I promise that I will sneak you out first thing in the morning before the shift changes. No one will find out about our special kind of late night briefing." Tom promised, still smiling at her with that smile that he knew she had always fallen for, back in the days when they were still dating. "  
You're unbelievable" Sasha rolled her eyes whilst she took a deep breath. "Fine, I'll stay but no more briefings tonight" She told him mimicking his choice of words for what they had done. "I can live with that as long as you allow me to hold you?" Tom asked her carefully knowing that he shouldn't push his luck too far."Sounds good for me and about the other thing…" Sasha trailed off as she took off her pants again before she slipped under the covers into the empty space next to him. Settling her head onto his arm Sasha turned her head to look at him. "There will be enough time once we got your boys back and we have finished the mission." She added with a smile while she reached up and brushed her fingertips carefully over his cheek before her hand landed onto his shoulders where she started to draw little circles onto his skin.  
"I'm looking forward to it." Tom told not leaving her gaze as he leaned over and brushed his lips over hers. "Me, too" She admitted against his lips before she leaned in and kissed him tenderly back. When their lips parted again Tom reached up and turned off the lights before he wrapped his free arm around her waist and pulled closer. Feeling her warm and soft breath tingling over his skin Tom figured that even though it was dark and he couldn't see her, that he was looking into her eyes so he lifted his head a little.

"Good night, beautiful." he murmured against her forehead before he placed a soft kiss onto it as he heard her soft laugh.  
"It's been a long time since anyone had called me that." Sasha admitted, but then she immediately regretted it a little because she knew what kind of response she would get now.  
"That's a shame, because you're so much more than that and I love you for everything you are." This time it was Sasha turn to be lost for words as she simply smiled at him. "Good night, Tom" Sasha tried to ignore what he had just said, but she couldn't. "I love you too." She whispered while she closed her eyes.


End file.
